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"On the mainland, a rain was falling. The famous Seattle rain. The thin, gray rain that toadstools love. The persistent rain that knows every hidden entrance into collar and shopping bag. The quiet rain that can rust a tin roof without the tin roof making a sound in protest. The shamanic rain that feeds the imagination. The rain that seems actually a secret language, whispering, like the ecstasy of primitives, of the essence of things." - Tom Robbins, from: Still Life with Woodpecker

"The trouble with seagulls is that they don't know if they're cats or dogs. Their cry is exactly midway between a bark and a meow." - Tom Robbins, from: Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

"If space is love, Professor, then is love space? Or is love something we use to fill space? If time eats the doughnut, does love eat the hole?" - Tom Robbins, from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

"It was about two minutes on the tequila side of sunrise. So early the bluebirds hadn't brushed their teeth yet. Homer referred in The Odyssey to 'rosy-fingered dawn.' Homer, who was blind and had no editor, referred over and over again to 'rosy-fingered dawn." Pretty soon, dawn began to think of herself as rosy-fingered; the old doctrine of life imitating art." - Tom Robbins, from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

"A sneeze travels at a peak velocity of two hundred miles per hour. A burp, more slowly; a fart, slower yet. But a kiss thrown by fingers--its departure is sudden, its arrival ambiguous, and there is o source that can state with any authority what speeds are reached in its flight." - Tom Robbins, from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

"Like chip dip with a short shelf life, the imported Scandinavian sunshine had commenced to degenerate, reverting to the cod paste from which it was synthesized. Scud blew by close to the surface of the sound like dank puffballs of bacterial fuss, and the men could almost taste mildew in the air. The atmosphere was leaden and thin simultaneously, as if composed of some new element that defied known laws of atomic weight and could be properly breathed only by lifelong residents of the Pacific Northwest. Feathery and innocuous on one hand, sodden and ill-willed on the other, it was the meterorological equivalent of Pat Boone sing heavy metal." - Tom Robbins, from: Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates

"You fling open the trunk with what amounts to a prayer in your heart, praying that the conspicuously silent Andre has not perished for lack of oxygen--a detail you should have considered earlier--and are immediately reminded of the Mona Lisa. Andre and Leonardo's famous model share an ability to look quizzical and curious despite the fact that neither has eyebrows. Ham actors,  for whom eyebrows are the banners and billboards of all emotion, could learn a lot about expression from the browless Mona, the browless macaque." - Tom Robbins, from: Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas

"To pragmatists, the letter Z is nothing more than a phonetically symbolic glyph, a minor sign easily learned, readily assimilated, and occasionally deployed in the course of a literate life. To cynics, Z is just an S with a stick up its butt." - Tom Robbins, from: Wild Ducks Flying Backward

Books By Tom Robbins

"Now, the line that separates objects from ideas can be pretty twiggy, but let's not unzip that pair of pants. Galileo was right to drop objects rather than ideas off of his tower, and the Care Fest might have been wise to stick with objects, as well. Within the normal range of perception, the behavior of objects can be measured and predicted. Ignoring the possibility that in the wrong hands almost any object, including this book you hold, can turn up as Exhibit A in a murder trial; ignoring, for the moment, the far more interesting possibility that every object might lead a secret life, it is still safe to say that objects, as we understand them, are relatively stable, whereas ideas are definitely unstable, they not only can be misused, they invite misuse--and the better the idea the more volatile it is. That's because only the better ideas turn into dogma, and it is this process whereby a fresh, stimulating, humanly helpful idea is changed into robot dogma that is deadly. In terms of hazardous vectors released, the transformation of ideas into dogma rivals the transformation of hydrogen into helium, uranium into lead, or innocence into corruption. And it is nearly as relentless." - Tom Robbins, from: Still Life with Woodpecker

"For better or for worse, lots of kids these days have personal cell phones. Do you have a cell phone of your own? If so, is it one of those superphones, a genius phone that not only allows you to enjoy traditional audio telephone conversations, but sends text messages, takes photgraphs, checks e-mail, plays music, show movies, tells time, protects you from vampires, wipes your bottom, and pumps up the tires on your bicycle?" - Tom Robbins, from B Is for Beer

"There is little difference between the Zulu warrior who smeared bis body with lion's fat and the modern woman who  dabs hers with expensive perfume. The one was trying to acquire the courage of the king of beasts, the other is attempting to acquire the irresistible sexuality of flowers. The underlying principle is the same." - Tom Robbins, from: Jitterbug Perfume

The carrot symbolizes financial success; a promised, often illusory reward. A carrot is a wish, a lie, a dream. In that sense, it has something in common with perfume." - Tom Robbins, from Jitterbug Perfume

A perfumer, of course, is neither a quantum physicist nor a painter, but at his best, when his purposes are high purposes, when his imagination is liberated, his choices inspired, he, too, enters the poetic. And it is revealed to him, then, what the ancients meant when they said with conviction that the soul receives its sustenance via the sense of smell." - Tom Robbins, from Jitterbug Perfume

"Approximately two thousand years ago, a pellet of wisdom dropped into the fetid, heavy, squirming, gasping, bloody, bug-eyed, breast-beating, anguished, wrathful, greasy and inflamed world of Jewish-Oriental culture as a pearl might drop into a pail of sweat." - Tom Robbins, from: Another Roadside Attraction